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Fitz: Coaches’ postgame pressers are as worthless as tabloid TV

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If you’ve been in a grocery line in the past two decades you can’t miss all the magazines dedicated to stalking the famous. Coming across these tabloids I always wonder, do people need to see photos of Adam Sandler taking his garbage out? Or Jessica Alba in a baseball hat going to Starbucks? Is there really a thirst for this info? Who actually pays money for this drivel?

In the sports world, the equivalent to People magazine is the head coach postgame press conference. Completely worthless and most often not needed. For baseball, basketball and hockey it might be palatable because the games come so frequently that each outcome needs to be discussed and put to rest in advance of the next outing on the schedule.

When it comes to football however, for head coaches at the collegiate and pro levels, the postgame press conference is the root canal of sports media. These coaches haven’t seen the film. They are often asked about injuries to the tune of the same exact response each time: “we’ll know more after the medical people evaluate him.” Most laughably though are the questions that leave it up to the coach to somehow explain or rationalize what has just occurred. Does anyone realize he didn’t play in the game?

Let’s turn to the poster child, the guru if you will, of postgame pressers.

Riveting stuff, Bill.

This past weekend Jeff Samardzija gave up 6 home runs and lost 13-1 to a horrible White Sox team. Madison Bumgarner was nearly as bad a day later losing 8-1 to the same bottom feeder. Am I to believe Bruce Bochy is supposed to explain or alibi this? Honestly, what is the point?
Tom Brady goes 16-36, looks every bit of his 40 years and Kansas City stomps New England in Week 1. Bill Belichick drones on about having to “coach better.” Yeah, I’m sure Brady hasn’t received enough “coaching” during the most remarkable 17-year run in NFL history from the elite coach in the sport. What a ridiculous charade.

The NFL postgame press conference is even more absurd. These same coaches have a Monday press conference a day later. At this time, they actually do have all the injury information and they have watched tape of the game. Monday is actually a nice information day. Making Sunday’s postgame even more worthless.

Postgame press conference questions usually feature the inane and often brutally stupid questions as well. “Hey! Brian Kelly! You just lost 20-19 to Georgia. Eight of your last nine losses have been by a single score, it sure must get frustrating, huh?” Shockingly, coaches get a little frustrated by the stupidity of this postgame endeavor. See they work all week for a three-hour outcome and when it doesn’t go well, sometimes they’re less than thrilled.
Kyle Shanahan is supposed to explain why a perfect play he designed results in a wide open deep ball for Marquise Goodwin, excellent protection for Brian Hoyer and a perfectly thrown ball that is dropped by Goodwin whose whole profession revolves around catching a football. Yep, let’s ask Shanahan about that since the coach must be responsible for this…beyond ridiculous.

High level college and pro football is about talent (Belichick had one winning season in five years with Cleveland. Wonder what changed in New England?). Coaches put players in positions to succeed and then the players actually play the game. Asking coaches for an explanation of all of the good and all of the bad minutes after the game’s outcome has become literally the dumbest thing happening on the sports landscape.
Of course we all see the Enquirer and People at the checkout stand. I wonder who actually buys these? Must be the same people glued to the coaching postgame press conference. Sad.