February 22, 2013
Sorry, Mike, but you're a bit late on this one. The mob formed three minutes after the first report dropped. Check out the court Lupica and the guys at the Daily News convened. The boiler on The Conclusion Train has been burning for a few weeks now and it's ten stations down the line. But it's nice to hear someone say it at least:
Baseball union head Michael Weiner says reporters should refrain from jumping to conclusions about media reports linking players to a Florida anti-aging clinic accused of distributing banned performance-enhancing drugs … "The players understand that what's happening in Miami at this point remains to be seen in terms of fairness and judging things on the evidence …"
Meanwhile, in newsrooms across America:
Baseball Media: "Your guilt has been determined. This is merely a sentencing hearing. Now, what will it be? Death or Exile?"
Biogenesis Players: "If you think we're going to walk out on that ice willingly, you got another thing coming!
Baseball Media: "So it's death then?"
Biogenesis Players: "Looks that way."
Baseball Media: "Very well then. Death! [gavel smash] … By exile!"