Pablo Sandoval penned a heartfelt letter in The Player’s Tribune to Giants fans and the organization on Monday.
The entire piece, entitled “Back Where I Belong,” is worth reading, as Sandoval apologizes for the way he left the organization, expresses the regret he felt while in Boston and how he did ‘everything in his power’ to get back to San Francisco after he was released by the Red Sox in July.
In an especially revealing moment, Sandoval reflects on his struggles with the Red Sox, a period he calls the worst years of his life, and partially attributes his downfall on never coming to terms with leaving the Giants organization.
In Boston, I was lost.
It just never felt like home.
And then I got released, and it was the worst feeling. I knew it was coming, but when it actually happened, it felt worse than I had even imagined it would. I felt like my career was over — like everything I had worked for my whole life was just … you know … done. All the great memories. All the great times you have playing this game. And one day, it can all be gone like that.
I had the greatest times of my life in San Francisco. And when I chose to leave, I left the special group of guys that I had shared those times with. I left behind the chemistry I had built with my teammates. I left behind a dynasty.
And I think that’s another reason I struggled so much the last couple of years: Because every day I spent in Boston, my heart was still back in San Francisco.
Though he apologized to the Giants and their fans upon his return, Sandoval apologizes again in the piece for the disparaging comments he made towards his teammates after leaving, implying that emotions clouded his judgement.
“Before I continue, I want to take a moment to apologize to the Giants and to the fans. I know I already have, and I probably will again, but I don’t think I can apologize enough for the way I left — for some of the things I said,” Sandoval wrote. “I said things I didn’t have to say. Things I don’t want to repeat. Things I didn’t mean. I was just so emotional when I left San Francisco, and I didn’t handle it the right way.”
“I made a mistake. I’m very sorry.”