These are the times that try men’s souls — not to mention Gabe Kapler’s tightly manicured beard and superfly shoe game.
Yes, everything about the Giants in September 2021 requires deep breathing, sturdy mental fortitude and, above all, NOT FREAKING OUT AND GIVING UP AND RUNNING THROUGH A PLATE GLASS WINDOW IN PANIC.
Doesn’t Kapler have a meditation podcast we can all download?
The five-game mid-August NL West lead has dwindled to a dead heat with the Dodgers.
The Giants are injured or slumping everywhere you look.
The Giants do not have a starting rotation of five healthy human bodies.
Just the way we like it, sports fans.
September is here, and magic awaits. September baseball! For the love of Brian Johnson, are you not entertained?
As I write this, Logan (The Unhittable Jaw) Webb, Darin (The Korean Express) Ruf and Thairo (The Swingin’ Gyro) Estrada just finished a major-league stop job against the quite nettlesome Milwaukee Brewers. Webb is a one-man momentum-shifting machine, and already I can feel the doom and dread of Thursday morning’s KNBR text line evaporating into the thin air of victory.
Now here come the Dodgers for The Biggest Series of Kai Correa’s MLB Career, and this is pretty much all we can ask for as Giants fans: Labor Day weekend; blue and white vs black and orange; NL West horse race at stake.
Can I humbly ask that Giants fans occupy at least 50 percent of the sold-out seats?
(To quote the great social media king LeBron James: Sheeeesh! I’ve had about enough Pantone 294 — the official Dodger blue color — at Third and King the last few years.)
But this is key to remember, sports fans — and yes, I am talking to myself, as well: There is life after this Dodgers series. Twenty-five games worth of life, to be exact. And as mighty as the Los Angeles Fightin’ Scherzers look lately, they have legitimate challenges ahead, too: four at St. Louis after the Giants series, a six-game roadie through underrated Cincinnati and always-dangerous Coors Field. They finish with three against the Brewers, who have a staff full of Tim Lincecum throwalikes.
I know, I know, the Giants still have six games at Denver, which can be a tad painful, as I was just saying to my good friends Ryan Spilborghs and Neifi Perez.
Remember: Vegas had the over/under this year at 75. I went on-air on Opening Day and said 80 wins would be cool as the team built for the Marco Luciano/Heliot Ramos/Joey Bart (maybe) future.
Here we are, dining high on the hog in at the .634 Win Percentage Cafe, with a menu of platoons daily serving up wins, even if this week hasn’t been the kitchen’s best work.
September baseball awaits. John Patterson-esque legends will be born. Conor Gillaspie moments will unfold before your eyes. Jonathan Sanchez may come back and triple, for all you know.
Reality check: the bats are cold unless Estrada homers. Kapler is biking up and down the Embarcadero looking for starters this weekend. Trea Turner is a Dodger.
It’s all part of the deal.
What I’m saying is, no more gripping. This is all awesome, and a hell of a way for us to kill time in-between Jimmy G and Trey Lance tag-team wrestling on Sundays in the fall.